Venezuelans

One time I had sex with a guy because he bought me Captain Morgan.
(Goddamnit I promise you I have morals, I swear I do).

Anyway, I had known him for about four hours, and I already disliked him because he was a business major, and said he loved the thrill of cheating on tests. Turn. Off.

But, we started having sex. And it was HORRIFYING. I guess he went to a military school, because he body was alright, but I was not aroused. Not one bit. But, while we were going at it (missionary position at this point), he looked up, and smiled at his own reflection in my dorm room window.
Are. You. Fucking. Kidding me.
I was doing the dirty with the real life Narcissus.

After this, he asked to do anal. When I declined (I always will), he told me to "be brave!".
Excuse me? Did he just tell me to be brave and take it up the ass? Fuck that.

He then told me that he wasn't sinning because he "didn't come". If that's the case (which it isn't, according to Catholicism), that makes me sin-free for that evening.

I got off the bed and asked him to leave. He wouldn't.
He whined like a little child, "No, let me stay the night, I cannot sleep alone, oh please let us do it one more time, okay blow me, please, oh why are you making me leave? Put my clothes on for me."

I had now decided that I hated the guy.
He refused to leave, until I grabbed him by the arm and escorted him to the door.

Note to men: do not ever do anything that this boy did. It was one of the worst sexperiences I've ever had, ever.