Don't Tell Julie

But I'm going to be the one that tells Clare about sex (she's reading this over my shoulder). And I'm excited to tell my own lil kiddies. I have it all planned out:

"Kids, Mummy needs to tell you something. There's something called sex, and you've got to know about it, if you ever want to enjoy life. When you're old enough, and you find someone that respects you, you're going to get feelings that might make you want to get naked. And that's fine, you can get naked. Sex is when two naked people that respect each other come together, like this (and then I'll have a very detailed diagram on display, with definitions and names for everything, and their levels of importance and such). When the sex is over, the girl will have high levels of oxytocin released in her body, and that will make her want to cuddle. The boy will not have these feelings. Sex is complicated. Also, use these (I then pass out condoms and pamphlets for birth control) when you're having sex with someone you aren't planning to marry, or if you're too young to have children. Alright, any questions?" And of course there won't be any questions because my kids will be intellectuals. I will say all this to them on their first day of kindergarten.